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#1 Guest_margah_*

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Publicado 08 agosto 2003 - 18:34

t001.gif O k.. so this is where you can leave jokes and your comments on them..


o k happy.gif.. here's the first one:


What do Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in common?
They are both made out of plastic and are dangerous for children to play with.

-----------
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
"Hey, nice tie!" comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the bartender to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it.
"Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up but, again, the bartender is engaged elsewhere.
"Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him.
"It's not me, it's the complimentary peanuts." laugh.gif

---------------------
What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?
Line dancing at the nursing home.

-------
What is a 6.9?
A 69 interupted by a period.

What is a 72?
A69 with 3 people watching.

---------------

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.

*

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.
''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''

*

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.

*

How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)

t001.gif

well you can find better.. this was just an email...... (no offense to anyone thou)
laugh.gif laugh.gif

#2 Guest_CrushinLionHeart_*

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Publicado 08 agosto 2003 - 20:54

.....i dont know a lot of jokes, here's mine:

Bush got a coded message from Saddam.
It read: 370HSSV-0773H

Bush was stumped and sent for the CIA. The CIA was stumped too, so it went to the NSA.

The NSA couldn't solve it either, so they asked Bill Clinton.

He suggested turning the message upside down ...


-What's funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.


#3 Guest_Rhadamanthe del Wyvern_*

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Publicado 12 agosto 2003 - 03:00

Soooooo cooool laugh.gif

Very nice!

The one on Bush might be real! happy.gif

lo siento I haven't jokes this time but I promise I'll find and translate them.

Bye and thanks ! happy.gif

#4 williamofsagittarius

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Publicado 17 agosto 2003 - 18:08

That´s funny and very nice, please put more of that kind of jokes jaja

I´ve to become Into Ssj


#5 Guest_margah_*

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Publicado 18 agosto 2003 - 00:10

Hehe.. thank you, thank you.. laugh.gif

crushlions' were so funny too laugh.gif the funniest was the coded message one.haahaha!

ok heres more:

What's the position to make ugly babies?
Ask your parents.

----

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.

"Holy cow! What's that smell?"

"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"

"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."

-----

A blonde and her father are walking down a street when the father says, ''Look, a dead bird.''
And the blonde looks up and says, ''Where?''

---------

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, ''Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves.''

--------


Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
laugh.gif
----

A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, “Boy he could use some head and shoulders.”
The blonde says, “Hm. How do you give shoulders?”

HAAAAAAAAHAHA!! laugh.gif
---------

How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail?
Envelopes in the disk drive.

------



#6 Guest_margah_*

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Publicado 18 agosto 2003 - 13:06

....

user posted image
user posted image
user posted image

happy.gif happy.gif

#7 Guest_Rhadamanthe del Wyvern_*

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Publicado 19 agosto 2003 - 01:03

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

Wahahhahahahahahaha! Sooooo coooool!!!
Where did you find it?

Thank you so much! laugh.gif



#8 Guest_margah_*

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Publicado 19 agosto 2003 - 01:50

glad u liked them.. hehe..
many websites.. some are spanish ones, translated.. hehe



#9 Guest_Taurus Aldebaran_*

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Publicado 20 agosto 2003 - 23:59

ahuhuahuahuahu..
the blod woman is just classic in jokes =]]
i dont have any joke in english laugh.gif

#10 Guest_margah_*

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Publicado 25 agosto 2003 - 17:09

Hehe.. well dont worry.. is whoever that can that p osts jokes t001.gif

10.gif ..


...margah! 40.gif

#11 Guest_Taurus Aldebaran_*

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Publicado 26 agosto 2003 - 02:29

hehehe thumbsup.gif
Kiss margah

#12 Guest_margah_*

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Publicado 26 agosto 2003 - 23:00

unsure.gif  54.gif  54.gif  happy.gif  happy.gif   thnx

happy.gif ..


...margah! 40.gif

#13 Guest_Rhadamanthe del Wyvern_*

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Publicado 27 agosto 2003 - 00:35

laugh.gif

I read them one more time, just to laugh when I wake up! happy.gif

Thanks margah. smile5.gif


#14 Guest_margah_*

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Publicado 23 septiembre 2003 - 00:22

ur welcome.. here's more: laugh.gif


STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it ".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical reco rds show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father coincidencely got married on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

dry.gif  dry.gif  happy.gif  happy.gif  happy.gif

#15 Guest_Rhadamanthe del Wyvern_*

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Publicado 23 septiembre 2003 - 00:43

laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha laugh.gif

Thanks margah!

Kisses 40.gif

#16 Ares_Marte

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Publicado 30 septiembre 2003 - 01:01

GREAT!!!
That darn panda almost killed me as well!
.."pretty ugly"...HAH! s4.gif

#17 Guest_Rhadamanthe del Wyvern_*

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Publicado 30 septiembre 2003 - 09:01

laugh.gif
Yeah, I would'nt be Mary. laugh.gif

#18 Guest_margah_*

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Publicado 02 octubre 2003 - 01:06

i don't understand the panda comment ( haha i guess i'm slow these days 09.gif ) but yeah, that would be so sad, if someone said that .. you're pretty..... ugly eh? hahahaha!! i would cry i think.. haha,.. whatever who cares.. just trying to write at least 5 lines so the message counts.. haha 04.gif (just joking.. riiighhtt)

so whats up?.. how come no one posts funny jokeS? it can be funny stories that have happened to your family/ friends/ you...

04.gif c'mon!!

s39.gif

#19 Guest_Rhadamanthe del Wyvern_*

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Publicado 03 octubre 2003 - 00:49

I don't know if there are already on the topic.

A blond and a brunette are walking together and the brunette say:
-Aw look, a dead bird!!!
And the blond look the sky and say:
-Where?
laugh.gif

This one works very well in Europe:
what's the difference between God and the Frenchies?
God doesn't think he's french. (you understand......? unsure.gif  unsure.gif )
laugh.gif
I'm a bad joker... dry.gif

#20 Guest_Rhadamanthe del Wyvern_*

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Publicado 03 octubre 2003 - 00:50

Ah just this one!!!!!!!!

How do you sink a belgian submarine?
................you knock at the door!!!!! laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif




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